What a sharp contrast between this October and last October. I was almost completely bed bound, home bound, and disabled. Now, I'm able to walk about a mile or so, ride my bike, drive more and more, and cook for my family. It's been an exciting adjustment and still very hard to get used to waking up each day knowing I'm able to do more!
HOWEVER.....there is always that word lurking around the corner.....I'm continuing to fight my physical 'demons'. We have not gotten a hold on the chronic dizziness. In fact, it's getting worse week by week. The doctors have a few working theories, and I have begun the medicine juggling game once again. It is unbearably frustrating to be on top of the world one day---almost unstoppable--then down for the count for the next 1-3 days. If any of you have ever suffered with vertigo, dizziness, or the feeling of being off-balance, you might understand what this is like! I'm working very hard to keep my anger and frustration in check!
I was recently diagnosed with adrenal insufficiency after several tests were run to confirm the suspicion. This was a big blow to us after such a difficult fight to improve with my dysautonomia, tachy-brady syndrome and others. However, I've begun the necessary treatment, and we will work around this accordingly. It did help explain why I get so sick, so fast, and so severely. However, there is still a missing piece to this crazy puzzle. We are working with a new doctor to help see if we cannot nail down the source of the dizziness.
Despite the frustrating setbacks, there is so much joy in the air on the wonderful days. Our family has laughed, cried, rejoiced, and celebrated a lot. Also, I'm pretty sure we have all put on a good 10 lbs in the last few months as my endless creations in the kitchen never seem to cease! There is usually something delicious lurking in the oven! The kids have adjusted quite well to the 'new/old' mom. They have even quit picking up their own stuff in great relief that they don't have to bare so much burden. We will need to work on this, I believe! haha It's been a juggling act trying to take care of my body, get rest, pace myself, ward off the self-guilt for being absent for so long, and get back into the busy game of family life. I have forgotten how hard this can be to keep your priorities straight. It's difficult to get lost in the shuffle of 'doing' that you forget you are supposed to be 'living'. From where I have been, it's easier this go round to set down the laundry and sit down with my family.
As I stumble along on this new road, I'm still in great awe of all the friends, family, new friends, and loved ones who have continued to pray for our family. We are still in much need of your prayers! In fact, some days, learning to deal with 'sick days' are much harder now than it ever was while I was very sick. I have much further to fall, and I'm working very hard on making sure my mind can handle these huge pendulum swings. But on the amazing days, I'm enjoying life to the absolute fullest!
