I wanted to show a quick compare and contrast of what my life is looking like today vs 8-9 months ago! This hasn't all sunk in for me yet, so this might surprise me, as well.
COMPARE AND CONTRAST: JANUARY 2014 VS SEPTEMBER 2014
Jan. 2014-Mornings:
Every morning was filled with an immediate assessment of what my day may hold. Each day was a surprise to what constellation of symptoms I might have to deal with that day. I woke up every day with a fast heart rate of at least 110-140 bpm that would continue until my pills would slow it down for me. I could get a cup of coffee and some days I could muster enough energy to put together a small breakfast for a child or two. This would usually be a 'wait and see' time. I would deal with head rushes every morning that would either be mild to severe.
Now:
While I still have a pretty restless night sleep and wake up with a fast heart rate, the head rushes are now intermittent and much more rare. I can easily make breakfast for the kids, including eggs and bacon. I may not feel amazing upon waking, but I don't expect to be sick as I once did.
Jan. 2014-Pills:
I was taking anywhere from 20-27 pills every single day, NOT including vitamins and supplements. I also was taking multiple types of injections for several years. At one point I was hooked up to an IV machine right in my home receiving infusions weekly to bi-weekly.
Now:
I've self-reduced my medicines to the bare minimum. I am now taking about 6-10 pills a day now and that does include my supplements. I'm off all the injections and infusions!
Jan. 2014-Mid-mornings:
This was my best part of the day back in Jan. This was the only time of day I could do anything. I would do a few loads of laundry on good days. That was about the extent of my activities. Taking a shower was a big chore and challenge. I would need to rest and take breaks just to get dressed, put on make-up, and heaven forbid.....fix my hair. My ability to stand was anywhere from 90 seconds to 5 minutes before I would lose consciousness. I might try to stay on the sofa for an hour or two if possible on unusually great days.
Now:
Since I homeschool my daughter, my mornings are filled with lots of books, teaching, and laundry. While this is still my favorite part of the day, I have a lot more energy. We often take a break after math class and take a bike ride around the block. On the weekends, I might do some organizing, shopping, or cooking during this time.
Jan. 2014-Afternoons:
For the last 3 years, this was my most miserable time of day. Usually by noon, I was feeling weak, sick, and dizzy. I would be in the bed the rest of the day and night. I would usually be unable to do much at all. It was a challenge on some days to even talk to anyone or even care for myself in any way. I would need help getting my meals or anything that required any effort.
Now:
I won't say this still isn't the time of day where something might go awry, but it's now just hit and miss. I can go shopping if I want, clean the house, take a bike ride, exercise, and especially COOK. I do still need to rest for 45 minutes or so (especially after a long day of homeschooling), but I am usually eager to get on my recumbent bike shortly after that. I get a second wind and get busy in the kitchen-my long lost love! I finally look forward to the afternoons! It's not all rainbows and unicorns as I still battle some ugly dizziness, but gosh, it's not nearly as bad when you know in a few days you can be up and at em again!
Jan. 2014-Evenings:
90% of the time, I would have to eat my meals alone in my bed over the last 2 years. I tried very hard to stay engaged in the family. I would still help with homework and all the things that come with having 3 busy kids. There were many nights that I was completely absent. I would be too sick to even lift my head off the pillow. My husband would have to go full blast family mode even after a long day at work. I would try very hard, but more nights than not, I was too sick to participate. We would all rejoice on the nights I could have any family time. It would usually warrant a very good Facebook post!
Now:
I finally get to serve my husband and children a wonderful dinner! This has been the MOST fun for me. I try to take an evening walk or bike ride at night. This is so exciting. If I'm not running about outside, I might whisk David off for a late night shopping run or to let me drive around a bit! After over 2 years of no shopping, I'm gonna go every chance I can get. I will spend many nights on the couch with the family instead of in the bed once I'm growing tired.
Jan. 2014-Exercise:
Up until February, I had been unable to do pretty much any exercise of any kind for 1.5 years. I tried a few things, but since I had to stay in a recumbent position (head up and legs up) at all times, it made anything impossible. That sure didn't help the waistline!
Now:
I slowly began using my recumbent bike in late February 2014 again. I've been able to go from 1-3 minutes to 22-25 minutes on the bike. I can speed walk about a mile or more on some days, ride my bike outside for 20 minutes, and slow walk from anywhere from 20 minutes to over an hour. Yep, this is the same person who passed out on a tilt table test in less than 3 minutes!
Jan. 2014-Sitting:
One of the worst things about having been so sick is the loss of my ability to sit in a chair like a normal person. This proved to be the most challenging obstacle. That meant: no restaurants, no dinner at the table, no church, no movies, no normal outings. Within 3 minutes, my legs would turn a deep red, and I would begin to feel ill and lightheaded.
Now:
I've increased my sitting time to about 20-30 minutes before I feel uncomfortable and my blood pressure drops. I still do not eat with my legs down, and I can only drive for short-short distances. However, I am still in the rehab stage of this. This is my BIGGEST wish and prayer. I hope that one day I will sit through a movie with my legs firmly planted on the floor without feeling poorly! As for now, I'm happy to be going to the movies even if it means my feet are hiked up on the seat in front of me! I've purchased a little stool to carry around with me when I need to sit down with legs elevated. This has meant I can ditch the wheelchair for sitting and trade it in for this little portable stool!
Jan. 2014-Good days vs Bad days:
Most days were bad days. A good day in Melanie's life was one where I could sit up in the bed and talk with the family. A good day was if I made it to the doctor's office without feeling too sick. A good day was maybe getting to cut my own apple for snack and preparing a sandwich for one of the kids. A good day might have been a ride in the car just to get some sunshine. A good day might have been several hours of pain free or if I could do something small that I hadn't been able to do on most days.
Now:
A good day is almost every day. No, I'm not symptom free and still haven't had a day without some sort of pain or discomfort. But it's so much more bearable. I really couldn't even put it into the correct words to explain the misery of the days of the PAST. But today, the moments of 'pain' will often fade away in the glory of all I can and will be doing. There are still series of 'dizzy' days that are making life unpredictable and difficult. They make me frustrated and a little upset, but I know there will be an end point. That was one of the things about being so sick for so long.....you know it will never, ever end.
This is just a brief little snap shot into my the huge change in my world. What a beautiful sight this has been for us all. The obstacles still exist and seem to creep up in unwanted and unexpected times, for sure......but it's so much easier to handle them knowing another 'fun' day is just waiting to be had. As the rain poured down last night on my complaining family during our quick grocery store run, I couldn't help but to rejoice and smile that I was given the privilege to RUN through the rain!!!!!!
