Life wasn't promised to be all rainbows and unicorns!

Things certainly seemed to be looking very, very positive around here.  After months of very, very hard work, I had finally begun to reap the benefits.  While I struggled a bit here and there, I was regaining lost ground, improving week by week, and having more good days for a change.  

HOWEVER......that dreaded little word.....I took quite a stumble backwards in the last few weeks.  When I say backwards....I mean, I lost much of the improvements in one swift movement.  We are still trying to figure out what went wrong, but just as mysteriously as I became sick almost 4 long years ago,  the unknown continues to haunt me.  I've contacted and seen a few of my doctors (including a gut wrenching trip to the ER).  The return of the pain, sick feelings, nausea, dizziness, changes in vitals, and even loss of venous constriction all returned in less than 4 days flat!  

While this may help provide some vital information for my doctors in the long run, this has been beyond devastating to me, personally, and our family.  David and I are very distraught over the recent setback but are trying very hard not to let this defeat or define us. There is a new fear that I never had before this setback.  I have so much to lose now after regaining so many of my functions.  It's beyond frustrating when the doctors still to this day do not know how and why I got so very sick so quickly.....so we do not know how to prevent it happening again.

There have been some ups and downs the last few weeks.  We are not losing hope and choose not to be defeated.  I can only point to the fact that just last year I was wheelchair bound and had no hope of ever driving again, and today I can still drive a very short distance now and then and cook for my family.  That is what will be our focus during the return of pain, difficult days, and uncertainty. 

 

I wanted to keep you posted on events.  As I have found, this is nothing more than a roller coaster ride. Thank you for being apart and sharing in the many, many highs and lows!  The lows are harder to type and share, but you cannot pray unless I share!  And we so covet those prayers, the love, and the support we continue to receive.  It still blows my mind how after so long, and so many years, there are many that still support our family through each low and celebrate with each high.