OUR FAVORITE love story of all times! Written by both David and Melanie

In the next few weeks, I hope to finish and post an article written by my immediate family:  "A Family's Perspective of Chronic illness".
However, before I post information about our present, I wanted to give a little background of our 'past'. Those who know us, may already know this story, but since it's my favorite LOVE STORY OF ALL TIMES, I always enjoy retelling it!

I asked David, my darling husband of over 15.5 years, to also write his version of 'our love story'.  After reading it, I laughed out loud several times at all the similarities!  You will read his excerpt and see what I mean.  This article leads up to the piece we are working on as a family...a very, very hard one to write, I might add, about how illness has changed our family!

MY FAVORITE LOVE STORY OF ALL TIMES!

MELANIE'S ACCOUNT:
Once upon a time, on a chilly January evening, David and Melanie met for the first time!  I remember many details about that evening, and had no idea how that one night would change my entire life!

My older brother gave me a phone call asking me to come over to his home one night because he had something he wanted to talk about with me.  I remember it seeming quite strange, but decked out in my sweatpants, I jumped in my car and headed right over to his place.  Not long after I had arrived, there was a knock at the door!  David, a friend of my brothers, came inside and introduced himself.  I distinctly remember noticing he was tall, blonde, and had piercing blue eyes!  Just seconds later, my brother got a phone called and disappeared into another room.  Coincidence?  I don't think so!!!!!!  It would be months before I knew this was no chance meeting!  Who knew my big brother was cupid's assistant!

I was not looking for a relationship at this time, as I had just ended one 2.5 months before I met David.  Clad in my sweatpants, David and I were forced to make idle chit-chat while my brother took his LONG ONE-HOUR phone call.  As David began to talk about his future plans and ambitions, it was very obvious to me that he was kind, gentle, intelligent, and very goal-oriented.  I was immediately impressed at how self driven he was!  Purpose and direction in life had been something I had seen very little of in most men, and it was quite refreshing to see and hear him talk about his life goals.  I was a little taken back when he told me (on our first meeting, mind you) that he was looking for a Christian wife, wanted a big family, and was going to choose his medical specialty based on lifestyle and not money.  That immediately made me wonder:  "Is this guy really for real?".

That night, I sat on the side of my mother's bed, as I did most evenings during my 4 month hiatus from Mexico.  I told her about this guy...who was most likely too good to be true!  I had been fooled before, and my guard would be much higher this time!  I'm sure we laughed and chatted...even though I usually did all the talking, my mother faithfully stayed up each night and let her girl share her heart-which I often did quite freely!

Over the next few weeks, I would encounter David at church, with the single's group, and at some sporting events.  Each and every time I spoke with him, I became more and more impressed.  I was not easily won over, but cautiously optimistic as it became clearer and clearer that his man was different.  We began to forge a friendship.  I genuinely began to like this person and enjoyed our conversations.  We ended up going on our first date....there is a funny story to go along with that, but I'll save for another time.  It did have something to do with him eating my left overs and showing me pictures of his family's cross country explorations.  He didn't get a whole lot of points that night, but the innocent, unassuming attitude was well noted!

It was time for me to return to Mexico and finish out the spring teaching and working.  The doors had begun closing for new areas to serve, my body was tired and getting sick more easily, and my opportunities to actually minister beyond teaching had begun to diminish.  I made the difficult choice to end my work in Mexico for a period of time to recoup, regroup, and reevaluate.  When making the decision, I had only intended to leave for a year hiatus, but little did I know, it would be permanent.  David and I communicated via letters during the few months I was gone.  Our friendship continued to grow as I began to embark on new horizons in my life, and as he continued to work very hard in the demands of medical school.

In June of 1997, I returned home for good after almost 4 years of living, working, ministering, and thriving in Mexico as a missionary.  David and I began to date exclusively over the summer of that year just one year shy of him graduating from medical school.  Honestly, I was intrigued by David more than attracted to him.  (He always hates that part of this story)  However, it is such an intricate part of our success.  It was my respect and admiration that had me knocked off my feet long before it was mushy, often-blind infatuation.  However, while our friendship itself flourished, it would be 11 months after we first met, until I would fall head over heels in love and know that this person was made JUST FOR ME!

After learning from my own mistakes, I had hand written pages and pages of things that I wanted to find in a soul-mate.  The purpose of putting these on paper was so that the 'BLIND LOVE' couldn't or wouldn't get in my way when making a sound decision.  I didn't want to lower my standards, dreams, or criteria based on a passing emotion.  When I say I had hundreds of things listed, my mother can vouch for that!  (none of these were physical or superficial because I knew that didn't matter in the grand scheme of things)  In Dec of 1997, I sat on my bed with my long, long list!  I began checking off each and every item.  After going through the list, there was ONLY ONE item left unchecked.  David had all the character, the honesty, the integrity, the ambition, the security, and the heart that I had looked for in a future husband.  He didn't try to change me, he accepted me for me, and I got to be myself with him.  More importantly, he treated me like a princess on a petal stool.  There is a lot more to that part of the story, but this is a blog, NOT a book!

David and I were married June 6th of 1998 in a 'cinderella,' evening wedding!  The wedding was so much more than me getting a new last name or an exchange of rings...it was the day I got to go home with my best friend!  We both remember how easy it was for us!  We had talked long before we were engaged about what we expected, wanted, and anticipated out of marriage.  We even sat down with a pad and paper to write down what we both expected out of life and marriage.  The 'kinks' had been worked out long before there was a ring.  We would later find that it was this friendship, planning, and calculated intent that kept this marriage solid and afloat amidst all the storms that would surly follow.

In a few short years of marriage, David and I had moved multiple times around the country, had 2 beautiful baby boys, gone through internships, residencies, and more life changing events than we felt were our fair share!  We ended up in the midwest after 5 long years of residency.  Our youngest daughter was born, David's new job had begun, and we were a typical busy family!

We had, had our share of trials, minor illness, and all the fun that comes with running a large family.  We lived very far away from all family and often found being all alone was quite difficult at times.  However, the bond that David and I shared was always enough to carry us through.  We would rather spend time with each other than with anyone else in the world.  We love the song that says:  "No one will ever know what was said between your heart and mine".  That sums up our marriage! We didn't just survive life, we thrived!

For those who knew David and I (pre-illness), you knew we shared a love...one for the ages!  We were 2 peas in a pod.  Our idea of a good day, was one spent together.  Our biggest marriage complaints:  wish we could spend more time together instead of being busy with life.  However, post-illness, hasn't changed that much.  While we are a different family than before, it was that love...that kind of love that you read about, dream about...that happens only once in a lifetime....that gets us through each and every day.  I'm not entirely sure that anything less would have survived what we've been through in the last 2.5 years.

I not only love this man that I share my life with, I like him!  I respect him as a man full of character and integrity.  My children get to watch each and everyday as he treats me like a princess.  I've come across a lot of men and marriages, and rarely see the unselfishness that I watch in David.  He holds some very valuable keys!  He learned early on that watering and tending to his 'flower' only produced beauty, and in turn, yielded a rich and fertile garden.  He's very careful not to throw stones on that soil, and I feel like the luckiest girl in all the world!  Gosh, I really believe this is what marriage was really meant to look like!  I'm positive this is what was meant when God said "Men, loves your wives as Christ loved the church'.  Even if you take out the spiritual element, the principal still rings so true!  Men often don't know they are holding the keys to happiness in their marriage.  (not in a sexist way, of course, but I'm pretty sure that's why men and women were wired so differently in what speaks to our hearts)

I wanted to spend a few moments to share MY FAVORITE LOVE STORY OF ALL TIMES with you before I begin to explain how severe illness changed our lives and family.  It's really hard to share that part of the story without going back and seeing the beginning!  No matter what cards I got dealt, I know I still got the best deal of all!  I got DAVID!


DAVID'S ACCOUNT:

It was early January 1997, when I met the girl of my dreams, although I did not yet know it at the time.  My good friend had a sister whom I had seen once from afar and thought she was quite attractive.  I knew I would have to come up with a plan to get to know her.  I showed up at my friend's house and got to meet her and had a long conversation with Melanie while her brother took a phone call.  It was there that we made our first acquaintance.  I tried to put my best foot forward, albeit unconventionally.  We then saw each other at a single's ski trip and hit it off.  We had our first date the day after Valentine’s day, and then she returned back to Mexico for a season.  We dated after her return, and I knew this girl was different.  She was not only a good conversationalist, smart, witty, and funny, but someone who had a genuine heart for others.  Melanie was unquestionably a dedicated Christian.  Those attributes I first noticed were only the tip of the iceberg!

 Our relationship at first was more of a friendship than anything else, but eventually grew into a great love, romance, and marriage.  I knew she would be my soulmate, my partner in life, a great future mom,  and one who I would trust my children with if anything would ever happen to me.  We had a storybook wedding and the ‘perfect’ marriage.  We were two peas in a pod.  We rarely argued, complimented each other well, and had the ‘perfect’ life.  We were busy, traveled, worked hard, and played hard.  We had three lovely children, our dream home, my dream job, and everything was as we had planned and then some.   We had some ups and downs like everyone I’m sure, but our strong love, devotion, and commitment to one another was stronger than anything that could come our way.  That strong foundation has likely been the glue that has held us together in this unrelenting hurricane of life that never seems to end for Melanie.  (Part I)